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A Letter From Scott Stapp

I just wanted to say how sorry I am to my fans for this whole sex tape thing. God know it's bad enough you have to hear me sing, let alone see my bare white ass with a stripper who has a mullett (or was that Kid Rock?). I guess I should be happy that the tape of me, Kid Rock and the goat hasn't come out yet but you can be sure I won't be doing anything like that again (or taping it anyways). And to the people who stole this tape I have somethings to say: Why do you want to destroy somebody as nice and popular as me? You guys are super mean and can be sure you won't be getting free tixs to my next concert.