Confused Ramblings

Disposable Income?
I just threw away the equivalent of a large pizza, still hot. Pourquoi, you ask? I have no fucking clue. A guest of the hotel just brought me three boxes from room service and asked me to put them in the garbage. He didn't seem angry, like the pizza was shitty and that's why he wanted it disposed of. Seems like he just had a few pieces, got full and didn't want anymore. Had he offered it I would have given it a nice home within the confines of my colon. I'm like a starving third world kid when it comes to pizza. I eat it good, or bad, fresh or old. Simply because I may die tomorrow and never taste it again. But tonite I threw it out and now I'm mad at that guy for being a pizza wasting prick.

Posted by Jordan at 9:23 p.m. | Permalink | Comments

I May Be Gay
I had a dream about Tom Cruise last night. We were buddies and hung out together and stuff. I hate Tom Cruise. I don't know what brought on the dream. I hope I didn't catch that gay thing that's been going around.

Posted by Jordan at 8:55 p.m. | Permalink | Comments

Mon Fuhrer


Until now, I used to think those on-line personality tests were bullshit.

Posted by Jordan at 11:52 a.m. | Permalink | Comments

Do You Want Fries With That?
"Potato chips and french fries could soon come with a warning label if the state's top attorney prevails in a lawsuit filed Friday against nine fast food chains and snack-food makers."
Source. The warning is for acrylamide, a chemical that may cause cancer, but is not scientifically proven to do so. Why are we creating a new generation of pussies that needs to have warning labels on every product they consume? Bullets May Cause Death. Do Not Shoot Self With Gun. Masturbating May Cause Blindness. Use your common sense. If you eat french fries and potato chips everyday it probably isn't the best thing for your health.

Posted by Jordan at 9:07 a.m. | Permalink | Comments

Welcome
Seems I have a frequent visitor from Columbus, Ohio. Just curious as to who you are and how you found the site. Drop me an e-mail or something in the comments section.

Posted by Jordan at 9:03 a.m. | Permalink | Comments

I'm on a Diet
Human nature never ceases to amaze me. To stand in line at the movie theatre and hear someone order a large popcorn with layered extra butter and then get a diet coke to drink. Don't try and tell me maybe they like the taste of diet Coke, because diet Coke tastes like shit. They are drinking it because of some health reasons. i.e. They can't have sugar etc. Guess what, if you are having diet coke, you sure as hell shouldn't be eating popcorn that is bathing in butter.

Posted by Jordan at 12:16 p.m. | Permalink | Comments

No Means No
August has been a busy month here at the hotel. That means many night's of the week we are sold out. However, we don't have a no vacancy sign so many people still walk in off the street inquiring about room availability. I'm not sure if it's ignorance or just sheer stupidity of people, but the number one comeback when I say we are sold out is, "Your kidding." Just last night I had a gentleman ask if I was sure we were sold out. I told him yes and still he went on that he just needed a small room for he and his wife. It doesn't matter to me if you are ugly, or fat, or rich, or poor. When I say we are sold out it means exactly that; we don't have any space.

Posted by Jordan at 3:39 p.m. | Permalink | Comments

Can You Say Double Standard?
Pat Robertson, an American televangelist, was reported as saying it would be a whole lot cheaper to kill Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez than to start a war with him. Lets just pretend for a moment that I said that, but instead of Chavez I said George Bush. My ass would be in jail so fast my head would spin, or if I was from Britain substitute spin with blown off. But is Robertson in Jail? No, he is not, because these statements were made by an American citizen about a hostile of the US. You see when you are white and have nukes and are from the United States you can say what ever the fuck you want and if you try to silence that free speech you are a terrorist.

Posted by Jordan at 5:22 p.m. | Permalink | Comments

Help Wanted
I need someone to ghost write a book for me. I'll tell you what to say and you just need to type it and have the book published. Not that I can't do it myself but I'm incredibly lazy. You would receive no pay or recognition, but you could always tell people, "Hey. I wrote that book." And I would be your friend forever. Well, at least until one of us is dead. After that I can't make any promises.

Posted by Jordan at 7:48 p.m. | Permalink | Comments

Stop the Hate
After all these years why do we still have to have seperatism between the coloured's and the whites. Do we live in such archaic times that the two can't intermingle together. I have a dream, that one day when I do my laundry, I will be able to mix my red shirt with my black underwear and my white socks. In hot or cold water, with or without bleach. Some say I'm just a crazy visionary and I say, "Shut up! Voice in my head." But someday my coloured and white laundry will go together in the same load, someday.

Posted by Jordan at 9:38 p.m. | Permalink | Comments

Dinks
I'm gonna open a restaurant for women called Dinks. The servers will be attractive men dressed in tight underwear. Men everywhere will protest that it objectifies them, while the women will argue that if you've got it; flaunt it. Women will try to apply for jobs and I won't let them because they don't have Dinks and then I'll get sued.

Posted by Jordan at 9:55 p.m. | Permalink | Comments

P Off
Hey Puff Doody Jerk Ass. Nobody cares what your name is. The whole I am Bob, no wait I'm B, now I'm Bob again was done 10 years ago by Prince. It didn't do fuck all for his career and it won't do anything for yours. Up until this announcement I thought you were dead. Let's go back to that.

Posted by Jordan at 9:34 p.m. | Permalink | Comments

It's Baaack!
I did away with the old posts and the old template. Welcome to the new Confused Ramblings. Really good posts to follow, I promise.

Posted by Jordan at 9:10 p.m. | Permalink | Comments